Singleness—in a World Built for Two
When you’re single, it can feel like everyone else is in a happy relationship. That’s not always the truth, but it doesn’t take away from how loneliness can make you feel.
It might seem like all of the focus in your life is on your friends or family members who are couples. In a world that often seems built for two, it’s important to know how to respond to your singleness, and how to cope.
So, what can you do when you’re single, and everything seems to revolve around romance and couples? Let’s look at how dwelling on this issue can cause problems, and what you can do to get through it.
Comparing Yourself to Others
One of the biggest problems people face when they’re looking at their single life is comparing themselves to others. It’s easy to feel like a third wheel when you go out with your couple friends. Or, you might even find yourself scrolling through social media and seeing happy pictures of your friends who are in a relationship.
It’s important to remember that none of us know what’s going on behind closed doors in any relationship. People are often on their best behavior when they’re out in public. And, many people use social media as a way to post a “highlight reel” of their lives, showcasing only the happiest, best moments.
So, try to stop comparing yourself to others who are in a relationship. It will only leave you feeling inadequate or sorry for yourself. Worse, you can enter a cycle of wondering what might be wrong with you.
How to Cope When All the Focus is On Couples?
There are plenty of ways to cope when you’re single in a world built for two. But, the most important thing you can do is to focus on yourself, first. Use your alone time to figure out your purpose.
What is God calling you to do in your life? Are you single because God is trying to motivate you to do something specific? He often gives us struggles to work through as motivation to pursue what he wants us to do. So, instead of feeling bad about being alone, reflect on what it might mean for your life and your mission.
Find Relationships That Help You Grow
If you truly want to be in a romantic relationship, it’s up to you to put in the effort. That isn’t to say you should sign up for every dating app out there. But, there is nothing wrong with pursuing a spouse. God designed Christians for marriage. And, while there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, if you’re feeling deep loneliness or something calling you toward a committed relationship, it’s okay to pursue that as you pray and trust God’s plan along the way.
You are Not Alone
Sometimes, we think our loneliness stems from a lack of a romantic relationship. But, you might find that pursuing stronger friendships or reconnecting with people can help you to feel better. Focus on strong friendships as much as possible. Don’t be afraid to get together with other single friends who are in similar positions. We are designed for relationships of many kinds.
It’s easy to feel like the world is meant for couples, and shuts out single people. The sooner you can focus on strengthening yourself and how you feel about being alone, the easier it will be to let go of this idea.
If you’re struggling with being single and you’re not sure how to deal with it, please feel free to contact me for a consultation. Together, we can go over more ideas about how to make the most of your singleness and use it to fulfill your purpose. We’ll also talk about where you see yourself in the future, and how the idea of marriage and commitment plays into your life.